Originally Posted by zampana
But I can't help but wonder if poly ultimately works better for women than men? Many, many men love the idea of a relationship to someone who won't ask them to move in and have babies, who just wants to have a good time and who will be fine with them continuing to see other people.
Maybe it's just the women I've been meeting, but I find the opposite to be true - most women, if they're available and looking, seem to want to know that there's a commitment, that the man they're going to invest in will be willing to take it to the next level or whatever.
The problem is they do not understand that there IS commitment in poly. As a polyamorist, one can take a relationship to whatever "levels" are possible - the only thing you cannot do in No. America is legally marry a second spouse. If you're not just fucking around and you want to develop relationships, you need to either check out the poly community in your area OR find a way to explain what poly is to women who have the wrong assumptions going on, and let them know that polyamory does not preclude commitment and satisfying, long-term loving partnerships.