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Old 09-01-2013, 01:43 AM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,522
Default Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I've tried to start a blog here quite a few times, but always get distracted before hitting submit. Hopefully by beginning with a bit of cut and paste from my already existing threads, I can at least get the first entry here off into the ether, finally!

My husband and I started talking about opening up our marriage at the beginning of July, after about 8 years of being together as a mono couple.

I was married once before for almost 10 years, and it ended in divorce for many reasons, but one being that my ex-husband was happy with having sex once a month, and I wasn't.

My husband now is happy with sex about once a week, but my drive has always been much stronger - I would prefer once a day, or more, if I could stop chaffing. Over the years, we've struggled with our mismatched needs and he has been very accommodating with both helping me masturbate and trying to increase his libido to keep up with me. When we do have sex, he is giving and caring and very attentive to my every need - the only complaint I have is the quantity, not the quality.

I have never wanted my husband to feel inadequate or that there is something wrong with him. I actually see it as more as a deficit within myself, to be honest. I've done a lot of reading about sex addictions and nymphos, but I don't believe I am at that level of horny. Lol i'm not addicted to porn or cheating. However, I was able to recognize in my first marriage that once a month was woefully inadequate for my needs. So this has been an issue from the very start of our marriage together - my husband knew that I need some sort of sexual release once a day, and we've worked really hard on communicating about how this effects our relationship. It has really put a strain on us in some ways because sometimes I feel he is just going through the motions, to make sure I'm happy. I don't want pity sex. That isn't sexy, or satisfying to me. We have had tons of talks about this, for years.

So, to sum all that backstory up, right now he is wanting to remain mono, himself, and has been feeling lots of compersion as I move forward as being poly. Neither of us is bi, and we aren't interested in 3somes or swinging. Though I am continuing to encourage my husband to think about it, he so far is ok with being mono.

I started out trying to put together a relationship with a mutual single guy friend of ours, which lasted a couple of weeks and was, quite frankly, torturous for me emotionally. This guy was extremely mono, and was all over the place with his feelings for me. In the end, he told me he was never really attracted to me at all and though I don't believe that - he did some damage to my self esteem while we were together.

Regrouping from that, I put up a profile on okcupid and then went on two dates with a guy, B, who was single and said he was open to poly. I enjoyed going out with him, but I cut him off soon after meeting M, who is my current boyfriend.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (42M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (44M)
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