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Old 08-31-2013, 07:35 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346
Smile same love

I can't get the song out of my head by macklemore vs ryan lewis. Strange to think I met him once before Heist came out, well long before that. DH's best friend help produce him years ago when he was a student at Evergreen. What a small world but I just love that song. "...she keeps me warm..." the vocals are beautiful and full of love. That feeling is what I long for from another woman. I doubt I'll ever meet her. JB never got back to me. I think telling her I'm poly sort of scared her off. Not sure why. But for some, they're okay knowing I want a relationship but going into what it really entails, guess it's too much. But I also have to remember, with JB pregnant, other things could be going on.

The date with M went good but I think I'll never hear from him again. He said he'd call me in a few days. That was Wednesday night. Although he said he is non-monogamous, I sensed a bit of judgement in him and when I think about it, I don't think, no matter how much of an attraction there is, how intense the kisses were, as DH said, the one I meet and want to make a part of my life, needs to respect me and appreciate who I am, that M thinks I'm a slut (I'm not but some men who proclaim poly are foley fuckeries). I sensed M does not feel either of those towards me. At least I can learn from this date for any other future ones I might have.

I'm feeling slightly burnt out on okc. My profile is explicit about what I am looking for, yet, men all over the world contact me. I think "seriously"? I said I don't want a text/chat relationship and then there are the ones who don't get I'm married and ask if I'm single. Those get blocked. And then I find ones who state they are poly but their wife doesn't know. Really? That's not poly sir, that's plain out cheating. Argh!

Then PR - the dumbass has one who loves him right there but "wants to find one to bring home to moma" as he said yesterday. I text'd back that he wants the best of both worlds, maybe he should get over impressing moma and do some research on being non-monogamous. LOL, then after the long text, he goes and looks at my okc profile. I know PR is torn between what his heart and body wants versus what his mind thinks he should do. I really felt like I put my foot in my mouth with him yesterday. Oh well, he's coming to visit later this next week so I didn't overly scare him off. I just want more than tag team experiences with him. I want to have coffee, cuddle, go for a walk with him, talk about our kids, have our kids meet (he has a son the same age as ours). The wish that will never come true. I guess he just doesn't get if he goes into more of an emotional relationship with me/us he can still pursue any other outside relationships as well.

This weekend while majority of Americans are off enjoying the Labor Day Holidays, I will be working on a huge project for my bookkeeping client. But before I can attack that, my nephew and his family are in town visiting. I can't wait to see my great nephews. So weird my youngest is only 9 months younger than my oldest great nephew!

Monday is to finish off clothes shopping for the teenager! Her and her brother start school Tuesday (yeah!!!). She's in three honor classes again. I'm amazed at how good of a kid she is. If I've done anything right in this life, it's making awesome little kids that are growing, one day, into beautiful adults.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-31-2013 at 07:38 PM.
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