Jacob I've felt for you and was happy to see your update so I'm going to try to ignore the poly female agenda stuff and suggest what I would say otherwise.
I'd say a mistake you're making isn't whether letting her date others makes you a good guy or a wuss but rather that you think you're "letting" her at all. Whether she is monogamous or not isn't your decision to make. Whether you want to continue to be with her while she pursues polyamory is the only choice you've got.
Is it possible for you to not try to not rush to judgement right now? There is so much judgement and grasping for explanations in your posts. You've said you want to "try." So maybe you could set a period of time that you aren't going to constantly be trying to determine if poly is good or bad, right or wrong, possible or impossible for you. You don't need to decide what kind of man it makes you. Try just living without making a judgement call. She goes on a date and you feel sad. That's it, it's just how you feel. It doesn't MEAN anything. It doesn't mean you can't do it, or you're a being a doormat, or you're being a great guy, it just means you have a feeling and you've taken note of it for later. Maybe if you just let your feelings be feelings and stop trying to figure out the answers for awhile you'll be able to look back on the experiences you've gathered and make those calls.
Last edited by kkxvlv; 08-31-2013 at 03:35 PM.