Originally Posted by hyperskeptic
I'm really not presupposing anything, at this point. Speaking only for myself, I'm open to all sorts of possibilities to be worked out by mindful and inclusive negotiation, by and by.
I don't know exactly what Vix would be up for but, knowing her as well as I do, I suspect unconventional arrangements of one sort or another are a real possibility.
I should say, in response to the phrasing at the end of your post, that I don't think we're "playing," in any sense of the term. This isn't a game; it's real life.
(I mean, I think I see what you're getting at. It's just the choice of words that bugs me a little.)
Of course, 'play' is used to mean many different things, by musicians, by swingers, by children, as an expression of not taking things seriously. I'm not sure which meaning you thought I meant.
If you care about Metis, you should know ahead of time what you really have to offer her, as her feelings for you grow, and not only what Vix is open to, but what about Metis herself? Maybe Vix is fine with having Metis move in with you and be a second wife, but maybe Metis isn't.
And there are others, besides Vix and Metis.
How would her parents or siblings or friends regard this situation? Is their opinion important to her? If your relationship with her becomes known on campus, are you ready to tell the world you have an open marriage, or will she be regarded as a home wrecker, and you as a cheater? Will you be taking her as your date to professional events (galas, banquets, Christmas parties, whatever) and if so, how will your colleagues treat you and/or her as a result? If this isn't an option, will she be expected to understand that she will be having a long term relationship with someone who needs to keep her at home under wraps, even if she does live with him? Will you be inviting her to visit your family and introducing her as your girlfriend?
I respectfully suggest these things should
be known before her feelings continue to grow, exactly because
this is not a game. What happens if you and she blithely assume Vix is open to unconventional arrangements, you fall deeply in love, start making plans to move her in and find out Vix is not quite as open as you thought?
Has Metis herself looked ahead to what she wants from life, from relationships, and what happens if she falls in love with someone who can't or won't offer her the marriage and home that people so often want with the person with whom they are in love?
I don't offer this as criticism, just questions.