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Old 08-31-2013, 03:38 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

Instead of feeling like "damaged goods," perhaps you could take in the bigger picture. Acknowledge that he is not meeting your needs, but also perhaps understand that it is probably not about you.

I, too, am dating a man who is divorcing. Like you, I knew him before the divorce. He and I had had a relationship. However, the disintegration of his marriage, the loss of his daily routines, all of his anchor points caused one of the most competent people I have ever met to become completely overwhelmed. As we have worked to re establish our relationship since, he has at times become withdrawn, he has times been uncommunicative, he at times did not seem like himself at all.

Now me, while I too have been in a hurry to re establish our relationship, I am also cognizant of fact that given that he lost his marriage, it would be a little selfish to expect him to reassure me.

Your bf may not want to talk given that you are asking for reassurance, and he may not even have the resources to reassure himself.

I am not saying you are wrong in wanting reassurance, but I do think your timing is off.
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