for me I realize i can be both poly and mono and it makes it hard. I feel like I lean more toward being mono then I do poly. Even though I love the idea that one can love more then one person and be with more then one person for me.
it just has not worked out, and I don't like that fact but its just a truth for me. That I am slowly starting to realize.
Being in the grey like I am is a hard thing. And I realized this through myself and through concerned friends.
which it makes it even harder