View Single Post
Old 02-19-2010, 04:46 PM
Ravenesque's Avatar
Ravenesque Ravenesque is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 297

The red flag for me would be the potential partner's perception.

There is

"I am looking for a relationship with these qualities because it is something I need and want to include in my life where it doesn't exist currently."

and there is

"I am looking for relationship with these qualities because my current partner/s are not giving it to me."

I don't care whether the term lack/ing is used. It could be used in any of the above cases. The red flag is the difference between a person recognizing their needs and actively seeking them, from a person who is placing the blame/responsibility of those needs being un/fulfilled solely on another person. That focuses the 'lack' on a particular relationship as opposed to a personal 'lack' where someone is seeking to expand themselves.

I believe the first instance would be indicative of a band-aid for the current relationship as Ceoli states while the other is indicative of a desire for personal growth and fulfillment.

I'd stay away from the first person and gladly be with the second.

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Yeppers, (notice my bolding)
But that is NOT the reality/view of many others. And they also deserve support in finding their own path.
Not condemnation.
You understand this - I know.
I did not understand anything that Ceoli said to be condemnation of others for having differing views or realities. She stated her view and reality obviously. Do you have a point here?

Are you a polyamorist or non-monogamous individual between the ages 18-35? Are you located in New York State or the Northeast?
Join us at The Network, a social and socially aware network which connects young polys and progressive polys of all ages.

~Open up your mind and let me step inside.
Rest your weary head and let your heart decide. It's so easy.
When you know the rules.
It's so easy. All you have to do is fall in love.
Play the game.
Everybody play the game of love. Yeah...~

Last edited by Ravenesque; 02-19-2010 at 06:08 PM.
Reply With Quote