Originally Posted by Quath
It sounds like she doesn't want to be jealous to the point she she tries very hard to hide it until it comes out as anger. So maybe she can try to let you know when she is feeling the pangs of jealousy. The idea is that she can communicate it, but it doesn't directly mean that any plans need to change. That way she can tell you without feeling like she is making trouble for anyone.
I like your ideas Quath and think you might be on to something there...
I like to express our emotions, regardless of what they are, as much in the moment as I can and without delving into what the others might think of me. It is hard to to that, as it makes me super vulnerable... and especially around strong emotions such as anger, but it has the effect of dulling them quickly so that they don't become something they are not. I don't always know what it is I am "feeling" about but I have the option to say "I am feeling this and don't know what it is, but just want to let you know. I will let you know when I know so we can talk about it." I have found, in doing this often now that the moment I start to say that I have some kind of notion of what it is and can then start talking about it and picking it apart. Sometimes I just don't want to talk about it and will say that too. Usually because I need to pick words so as not to hurt another or need to think it all through first.