Maybe an analogy....
I'm very intrigued by the discussion supporting (basically) 'love is a choice'.
I'm always crying that out about 'happiness'. I truly believe happiness is a choice - but that's off topic.
But maybe I can construct some small analogy here that might allows us to dig deeper.
Something I suspect all (or most) of us have either witnessed or experienced personally.
Let's say that we have some person in our life that may have been a very close friend for some time. Something we have shared a lot of our life with. In the beginning there was never any consideration of our friendship being considered 'love' (by the way we both understood the emotion). Just for the sake of clarity of the analogy - let's say that there is no real sexual attraction between us because that is something that many people need to associate love with.
Now...........all of a sudden, a day comes, driven by who knows what life event, that we realize this person means much more to us than just a good friend. We come to the realization that we are very emotionally connected to events in their life that bring them happiness or sadness.
We have the sudden realization that we would happily sacrifice much from our own life and happiness, security etc for THEIR benefit ! We might go so far as to realize we might lay our lives down for them if need be.
Isn't this a closer definition - or understanding - of what love is ?
And I think it makes the 'choice' argument very difficult - although not impossible. It appends a 'but' to all statements of love.
"I love you BUT............." ( I have the option of choosing NOT to)