Why not choose for her ? Why does she get to choose.
How old is your kid or kids ?
I'm not sure anyone can judge your mindset or motivation in dating for yourself.
I agree it might not be healthy or respectful to a new partner if your only motivation was to date because your wife is . I think the number of people who do that are small. I see it as more of replacing what was was lost or missing in the current relationship. Also what about simple pleasure of Fun , excitement, freedom ....having needs met, etc.