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Old 08-30-2013, 03:34 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

If I may make an observation, it sounds like the disaster has already happened. The question becomes, are you going to make the disaster permanent or try to rebuild into a new configuration?

The relationship between you and your wife has changed, and it is not going going to return (your genie / bottle analogy) in its previous form. So from the get-go, you already know it is going to be different.

Your choices:

1. Divorce and break up your family.
2. Try to reconfigure so that both of your needs are being met.

While this rather foreign to the mono mindset..., so you weren't fulfilling all of her needs. So what? Doesn't make you an undesirable person; doesn't make you a bad person. There is nothing wrong with you because you don't share all of her interests; and there is nothing wrong with her for appreciating a companion who does.

If at all possible you need to quit viewing this as a competition. And while your post was remarkably objective, if you have moments where you want to lay blame, don't go there. It doesn't help anything.

In the end, if you do try to go down the poly path and it doesn't work for you, you have not lost any more than you will if you don't try.

Welcome to the group. Sorry it is under such stressful circumstances. Do keep coming back. We make a pretty good sounding board.
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