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Old 02-19-2010, 02:46 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
SC - I wouldn't presume to tell anyone they aren't 'allowed' to share their personal lives and my annoyance was brief, just an inital reaction to possibly being outed against my will. None of us had any idea that there was a family connection at her workplace but now that we know and she understands that I'm not openly poly, she respects my desire for privacy. I never told her she wasn't allowed to share the joy of her new relationship with anyone, I only expressed a preference for privacy after the fact, simply by asking that she not share my husbands last name around the workplace so my aunt doesn't find out just yet. I have no issues with the 'fairness' of that request and neither does anyone else involved.
whoopsies sorry! I guess I did get a little offensive, I didn't mean to attack. I can understand why you wouldn't want to be outed, and as you've explained it now, I see that you haven't infringed on her right to self-expression in any way...

Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
Being introverted, defined as being 'shy', means that I don't readily strike up conversations with people so I'm unlikely to just come out and tell people I'm poly. I'm trying to understand how the connection wouldn't make sense.
hmm... I guess what doesn't make sense to me is that I'm shy also: I don't approach strangers, it takes me a while to get comfortable with people and make friends. But when I do make a friend, when I'm comfortable with them, I am very open about myself. Perhaps we're just different kinds/levels of shy?

I'm wondering if this is the misunderstanding: whereas I think of my shyness as primarily affecting how I behave around strangers and acquaintances, your shyness extends to your friendships also? Perhaps it would be accurate to say that in addition to being shy, you're also a very private person? That would sort it out better in my mind...
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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