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Old 08-29-2013, 01:22 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,028
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What is your need?

Quote:
Deep down I know he cares. I don't know to what extent (we've never said "I love you" nor do I know if I feel it), but I know he wants me in his life and wants me to be happy. I just don't know how to accept that as it is and not worry about the future. I don't know if I see any long-term potential based on general personality differences, but for the most part I am enjoying the relationship while it lasts. I'm just starting to think it won't last much longer unless I get a handle on separating my shit from past experiences from the things that are going on now.
Based on that it seems to be something like...
  • I am worried about the future.
  • I want to know to what extent he cares about me.
  • I want to be treated well and not "disposable."
  • I want to know if there is long term potential here.
  • I need (belonging? inclusion? reassurance? security?) in this relationship.


If it is somewhere in that ballpark?
  • You could ask him to what extent he cares about you at this point in time and if he sees it deepening or not over time.
  • You could talk to him about how you prefer to be broken up with. So it is respectful and not "disposable." You could ask him to reassure you that if it came to that on his side of things... he would break up with you in your preferred method and not like you are disposable. (You could ask him how HE would want to be broken up with if it came to that on your end of things.)
  • You could invite him to build toward something long term. So you can know there's long term potential here -- because you both agree to try to build toward that and share the same goal/hope for the relationship.

Maybe having the answers to those could help alleviate your worries.

HTH!
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-29-2013 at 01:26 PM.
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