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Old 06-27-2009, 01:59 PM
Quath Quath is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 504

This is one of those stories that ends with a big lesson learned. I have seen this story several times over and the big lesson learned is that deceit will result in some major problems.

I understand that you are being the bigger person, but this plan of his is not a long term plan. It is him trying to see how long he can make it last.

If she finds out on her own, she is most likely going to make him choose. Will he choose you or her? Maybe they can work it out so he can still be poly with her, but the odds are not good when she feels betrayed by everyone involved. She could accept him being poly as long as he was with someone who was not part of an affair. There are lots of ways this can go badly.

If she finds out in a more honest, kind approach, she will probably have a similar response because she has been deceived for so long. However, she has a much better chance of accepting polyamory and you from this approach than any other. He should be the one to tell her and introduce you two when she is ready.

Of course, life has many twists and turns so it is hard to say what will happen.
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