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Old 02-18-2010, 10:44 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Oh dear, I certainly didn't mean to imply that polyamory for me is just about getting as much attention as possible. I, too, look at poly relationships in terms of whom I love.

What I meant was, I think it's important for a person to make sure they have time for a poly relationship before starting one. I.e. make sure you are able to take care of the needs of the people you already love, so that they won't suffer if you take on another relationship. If you're in a situation where your loved ones already wish they could spend more time with you, then (unless they're overly needy, which is a separate issue) you need to make sure you meet that need rather than biting off more than you can chew.

On the flip side, if you're in a relationship with someone who is "married to their job" with no intention of changing that, and you find yourself developing feelings for someone else, then it's natural to want to act on them. Not as a substitute for what you really want from your first partner, but as a means to a more fulfilling romantic life.
I understood what you meant. I also understood your frustration too. Its all such a fine balance isn't it?
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