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Old 08-28-2013, 03:11 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
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Originally Posted by JadeDoor View Post
Now she has gone to a couple baseball practices without me (Neverwhere and Mark are coaching) and has acted as Neverwhere's wife at these practices. That is very hard for me. It's harder still to watch her do these fun things and yet yesterday when I gently suggested she might want to go to her son's dentist appointment witg him to get a filling she showed no interest. And this past week while I've done lesson plans she's shown zero interest as well. It's nice she trusts me but...
Hi. Love your blog.

It seems to me she's more interested in Neverwhere than her own children. Yes, she went to their baseball game, but not to root for the kids but as her ex's "wife". When given the opportunity to be responsible for her kids, she left it up to you.

I think this aspect of Amanda will blow up in your guys' faces, sooner than later too. It seems she has no underlying motives and is just "being" but your household needs to get back to communicating about parenting expectations, responsibilities, etc. If she's out there for "show" to the public than she needs to take on more of the child rearing in the home as well.

I'm not sure how much you and Neverwhere want on boundaries but it sounds like Amanda does not get the difference between primary and secondary. And you may need to take a step back and look at the world in her shoes. She was his first wife, she thinks of the two of you as sister wives (not what you and your husband want) and so she's probably having expectations (not spoken) about where this relationship with her ex will be in the long term.

I clicked on this yesterday and it gave a great description of types of poly relationships. MODELS. Maybe print it off and have all four of the adults read through it. It might help with the understanding of primary and secondary.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-29-2013 at 12:49 AM.
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