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Old 08-28-2013, 05:59 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by london View Post
And that to me is the issue: the need to maintain the boundaries of other people's relationships in order to feel empowered.
No one said anything about "the boundaries of other people's relationships." Those are their boundaries. They have nothing to do with my boundaries.

I don't "need" anything to "feel" empowered. I already am empowered. That's exactly why I can walk up to people who are pissing me off and tell them myself, like a big grown-up, that they're pissing me off.

You're coming across as believing your way is better and everyone else should emulate it. Is that the message you're intending to send? It would be good to know that, so I can stop explaining the reasons I do it differently.

My son regularly meets and spends lots of time with people in his father's life that I haven't ever met.
People that you've never met have no relevance to this discussion, but it does highlight your understanding of the issue. We're not talking about the ways people we'll never meet impact the other people in our lives. We're talking about people who are directly and personally involved in our own lives, and what's the most efficient way to communicate with people who are directly involved in our lives.

Your own relationship with your baby daddy is far more relevant to this discussion than the people he hangs out with. When you need to discuss parenting issues, do you speak to his father directly, or do you send messages through your son?

We regularly have to spend time and even cooperate with people we don't like to achieve a common goal.
See, you do get it! Whether the common goal is "raising a healthy son" or "having a harmonious household," sometimes you actually have to talk to people yourself in order to achieve your goal.

I find it interesting that when it's parenting, you acknowledge that fact, but when it's your own household, you place the full burden on your partner to make your needs known. Why give up your voice when it's your home and not your child?
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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