I was already feeling a little better. And then I got an email from MrBrown.
We had agreed that I would contact him, but he said 'I felt the need to contact you'.
He wanted to let me know he loves me, that he values and appreciates our love and friendship, that he wants me in his life, and that I am special to him.
It made my heart dance
I replied, briefly, that I felt the same. That I knew that we had started to be part of a downward spiral where I kept clinging to him for love and assurance and confirmation. And that I was grateful to him for breaking that cycle, taking himself out of the picture. It was what I needed to focus on myself.
I was surprised though. I know he has a history of very rigorously removing people from his life, and I guess I wasn't sure if I was going to be one of them.
I'm really glad. I need some more time - we agreed to meet in a couple of months. I'm excited to see where that will take us. I don't know and I don't need to know right now. All I know is that he is still a part of my life, and I love him, and he loves me, and that makes me feel like my heart is growing and expanding.