I'm so sorry.
Breaking up is hard, and I can't imagine what its like to remain living with someone (and his wife!) after the break up.
I've read your whole story, and I think this break up (while sad, and painful) was inevitable. Wishing you strength to cope with everything, and I hope Woodsmith (and other friends) are there for you.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 2 + years