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Old 08-27-2013, 02:15 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346

Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
If I were him, I would ask her to slow down. He needs to tell her that she is moving too fast and that he wants to pump the brakes. That would make anyone uncomfortable.
I may steal your thoughts and suggest as much to him. He's at a point of not knowing what to do and can't really discuss with any one else in his life (twin brother, friends, etc).

Only you know your children and what is best for them. She may not want to know. She may roll her eyes, or she may have an adverse reaction. There is no telling. Anything goes. The logic of all children need is love did not apply to my baby. She feels otherwise. Talk to your daughter and pose hypothetical questions to kind of get a gauge for how she might react. The last thing you want to do is start the habit of lying to her either by white lies or slight omissions. Like most teenagers, the last thing they want to hear about is what their parents do behind closed doors. Sometimes PDA grosses them out.
I'd say the oldest would want to know, not details, but that mom and dad love each other, they just have other loves. She watched Big Love years ago with me when we had HBO. At that time she thought that was interesting, did not seem to think any thing was specifically wrong with having more than one wife. Maybe I need to get a trial of Showtime and have her watch the polyamory show with me, then we could discuss her observations. As far as pda goes, um, yeah, she is not too appreciative of her dad's displays of affections in front of her (more in front of friends who are here visiting). Strange that when they are young, they love seeing mom and dad, kiss, hug but as soon as their own hormones hit, yucky, please don't do that comes out of their mouths.

I am doing a hybrid of working and staying at home, and so far, so good. I work a set amount of hours per week. I work in the mornings, so my afternoons and evenings are free for her school assemblies/festivities, ballet classes, and our respective interests. Those only last an hour. From about 3:15-9:30, I am on mummy duty. Prior to relocating, I was lucky to get home by 8 or 9. I do hope they offer you a position that is satisfactory and will allow you to continue to foster and strengthen the relationship with your youngest even more. The time really does fly by.
I have one client for my bookkeeping business and actually that should be enough with the childcare work too. I just need to get better at time management. As soon as my teen daughter and her brother (he'll start second grade) return to school next week, I can start to reschedule my time. Also the kiddos I watch, instead of here at 5:30 am will be here at 7:30 as of the 9th. That'll free me up in the mornings or let me get a little more sleep. September is definitely a month of changes to the summer schedule.

This bothers me, too. It is even worse people make excuses for their behaviour and try to rationalise it like it is OK or acceptable because of x reason or y reason. Nothing is more important than the life a parent brings in to the world. To hell with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I worry about that child or those children who get left behind just like the spouse. If people do not want to take care of their children or only see them a couple of times a month, they should never have had children.
I hate that emotion is used as an excuse to behave that way. My kids, they are always number one, before any primary or new partners. I have not experienced NRE, don't know if I ever will (I like having control of my emotions too much), but if I do, my kids emotional stability is the most important. And you are right, those parents should have never had kids. Similar to you when your son was born (I'm getting through your blog) my youngest came 8 weeks early and I had many issues with gestational diabetes, fasting blood sugars not being controlled with diet and medication, getting put on insulin, discovering a thyroid tumor, a few falls trying to arrange her closet and on delivery day, losing 3 pints of blood and when they cut baby out, she had stopped breathing, basically flatlined. Almost loosing your life and that of your child's makes for a deeper commitment to that child. Seeing them in nicu, going into apnea so often, having to beg the doctor to let you breastfeed and not just pump your milk so that bond helps them thrive and feeding tubes, it gives a whole new perspective on the unconditional bond parents usually feel for the life they brought into this world. Sorry - I think I rambled there. But yeah...KIDS FIRST before sex, love and rock-n-roll.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-27-2013 at 02:33 PM.
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