Hi and welcome,
What's it feel like to be a unicorn ..
sorry just kidding around.
To start what type of poly experience did the couple have prior to you ?....or was this some sort of 7 yr itch thing ...or the wife was bi curious and once the husband started having feelings everything changed and started hitting home for her.
I'd throw in the towel on a relationship that hasn't been working longer than it has worked. 3/5 of the time frustrating and lopsided. No seat on the rules committee. Take what you're given...or fuck off ...literally go fuck yourself. Because I don't " feel " like it and it against the rule for him.
How did you get hooked up with these people?