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Old 02-18-2010, 07:32 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
II was a little irked that my hubby's new girlfriend is being totally open with most people about their relationship and we discover that she works with my aunt! I'm over the initial annoyance and as far as we know, my aunt hasn't heard anything yet. But there again lies the solution, be open and then no one gets to 'find out' in that way.
Do you think it's fair to decide whom your husband's girlfriend is "allowed" to share her life's details with? I would hate to be told that I'm not allowed to share a new joy in my life with my friends and coworkers.

It reminds me of the struggle of so many gay couples where one of them is in the closet. The other is sometimes expected "not to act too gay" in public because they don't want to get outed. It's really hard on the "out" partner to alter the way they live their life on account of someone else's hang-ups.

Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
I cringe at the thought however, I'm just not that extroverted, I'm not that open with people, very private except with those I'm closest to. There seems to be an almost even split with people who are 100% open and those who are just open with those they choose to share it with.
I don't understand the connection between being introverted and being in the closet. I'm very introverted (the girl who listens in conversations, doesn't lead groups, and doesn't strike up conversation with strangers) but I'm very open about who I am with my friends.

Admittedly, family is another story. I put them on a "need to know" basis... if it doesn't come up in conversation, I'm not going to raise the issue. There are enough problems to deal with between extended family members without introducing new ones unnecessarily. That being said, I don't automatically consider my family members to be my "friends." Family dinners, coffee chats etc, I am never comfortable being myself about most things, we keep the conversations to the usual safe topics ("How's school/work? Is that a new car? What are you planting in your garden this year?"). When I was single, I didn't tell them about every boyfriend I was dating, or that I was interested in girls too, so why would I tell them about that now that I'm married?
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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