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Old 08-27-2013, 02:09 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

Originally Posted by alibabe_muse View Post
Last night was amazing with DH & PR. I love being with both of them at once. And DH was so cool he left the room for a bit so PR & I could have some intimate alone time. PR had missed me and missed being with us.
Glad you had an enjoyable evening.

Things are not going in the direction PR had thought they would be with his new girlfriend OM. I worry for him and can only be a friend who is there to listen to him. They have been dating since Aug 12th and met on the 6th (I'd say they've been dating since the 6th but didn't tell anyone until the 12th). PR is a little freaked out by OM in that she already wants him to move in with her, that she told him about having a dream where she had sex with his twin and that she wants more children with him (OM has 2 year old twins & PR has two older kids from his marriage and does not want any more) and she's driving him crazy with being very insecure about who she is (the girl is fine, nice body etc and young) always needing PR to validate her daily (these are his words).

I hope for his sake he figures out what he wants to do. PR kept saying it would be ending soon. This makes me sad because I had really thought PR had found the "one" he had been looking for. I was so happy for him when he told me about OM and that he wanted us to meet her on top of it.
That relationship sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen. This is why people should not make decisions on a dopamine filled brain. Things like children, cohabitating, etc. are matters that need to be agreed upon before wasting one another's time. Two-three weeks of dating, and she wants to have the man's baby? If I were him, I would ask her to slow down. He needs to tell her that she is moving too fast and that he wants to pump the brakes. That would make anyone uncomfortable. That and her constant need for validation. She sounds clingy, need, and very insecure. All things that would be turn offs for most people.

So our three kids do know PR. The oldest actually didn't meet him until the night we went out with PR & OM. Our son really likes him (PR has a son the exact same age). I guess I'm living out those questions I had about children & polyamory. We have not told the oldest and I'm not sure we will. But dang, I hate not telling her anything. I just know when she does find out she'll think we've been lying to her. I guess that will be the fine point of the discussion with her when that day comes. I/we never lied to her, we just never gave her the full on details of our relationship with PR. Seriously, I sometimes think our kids can guilt trip us as much as other adults try to.
Only you know your children and what is best for them. She may not want to know. She may roll her eyes, or she may have an adverse reaction. There is no telling. Anything goes. The logic of all children need is love did not apply to my baby. She feels otherwise. Talk to your daughter and pose hypothetical questions to kind of get a gauge for how she might react. The last thing you want to do is start the habit of lying to her either by white lies or slight omissions. Like most teenagers, the last thing they want to hear about is what their parents do behind closed doors. Sometimes PDA grosses them out.

All in all, I'm very happy today. Had a great job interview that didn't bat an eye at the rate of pay I want and are having me come back on Thursday to test my skills and abilities. I did forewarn them I'd been out of the industry for over 2 years now, so there's some catch up with tax laws but I should be fine. Now I'm torn. I love that I've been a sahm (with a child care business) these last 7 months. I get time with the youngest I've never experienced with my oldest two (and from Jan to Apr I use to work 60 to 65 hours a week). The choice is being happy, nurturing my youngest and the other two with just being able to be there or to be not so much happy but making good money (again if they offer what I want) that helps our family out a huge amount. And I can't make that decision until they actually offer me the position. My other interview for this week called and said they hired within the company, so no second interview this week. Decisions, decisions, decisions and no point until I know more to make those decisions.
I am doing a hybrid of working and staying at home, and so far, so good. I work a set amount of hours per week. I work in the mornings, so my afternoons and evenings are free for her school assemblies/festivities, ballet classes, and our respective interests. Those only last an hour. From about 3:15-9:30, I am on mummy duty. Prior to relocating, I was lucky to get home by 8 or 9. I do hope they offer you a position that is satisfactory and will allow you to continue to foster and strengthen the relationship with your youngest even more. The time really does fly by.

So this part has been bothering me and I so hope I don't do it. I've been reading a lot lately about the spouse left at home wallowing in self-pity etc. The main point I see in those ones is that it's usually the wife (what I don't want to do) who just flat out refuses to buck up and take responsibility for her children. Yes the spouse needs to own their own emotions and ability to function but when the female puts all the financial and child raising responsibility on the spouse left behind, it really makes me super upset. I am glad to see these posts because it's a reminder of what type of individual I don't want to be when I start dating and experiencing NRE.
This bothers me, too. It is even worse people make excuses for their behaviour and try to rationalise it like it is OK or acceptable because of x reason or y reason. Nothing is more important than the life a parent brings in to the world. To hell with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I worry about that child or those children who get left behind just like the spouse. If people do not want to take care of their children or only see them a couple of times a month, they should never have had children.
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