GG says some great stuff, I second what she's said to you. My husband is also in grad school and and we have three small kids, I know how tough time is but time as partners (not just parents) is still really important.
Okc is tough, spouse has been on it for a while and nothing's panned out so far though he has a date this thurs. it happens, hang in there
J: my husband of 10 years
Nudge: my boyfriend
on the jounrey to the new normal