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Old 08-26-2013, 03:06 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

Speaking from my own experience, it never got better for me, and someone or something always got short-changed. I hated that, and it took me years to accept that I had stretched myself beyond my means.

We did have a schedule, which is probably why I break out in hives at the sheer thought of ever having to live by one again. The problem with me living by a schedule is that no two days were ever the same, so there were a lot of rain checks, rescheduling, and general loss of balance, which spelled out neglect.

Best advice? Make sure all needs are being met. Is it going to be equivalent or always fair? No. You only have so much time, and I had to learn that the hard way. Will the people you date be just as busy? Quite possibly. All parties have to be accommodating and understanding. No one person should constantly bend because they will break. I am 33, and most people my age are quite busy unless they are childless, single, have a cookie cutter job from 7-3:30, and/or have the weekends off. With the way my schedule is now, despite having more free time and cutting my hours to a fraction, even if I wanted a relationship, I have no room or time for it. If I make any changes, my children and family time will get cut, and that is unacceptable to me. Be prepared to possibly see new interests once or twice a week. All of you will still have obligations and responsibilities within your respective marriages/relationships and at your homes, and that has to be taken into consideration.

Everyone does it a little differently, but you just kind of have to make time. It can kill the spontaneity if you are living by Google Calendar, which was a downfall for me. 60-40 would never have worked in my life. 50-50 worked from 2002-2008, but then again, my responsibilities and life were structured differently (no children; working towards my career; and a girlfriend who worked at night and quite erratically).

Last edited by FullofLove1052; 08-26-2013 at 04:50 PM.
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