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Old 08-26-2013, 11:45 AM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

*You don't want to have to speak for your partner... and yet you're saying that you want your partner to speak for you. Curious.*

No, if my partner and I have an agreement about something, I shouldn't have to be the person to enforce that agreement with his partner. That's not speaking for me, that's him maintaining his relationship with me.

If you're asking your partner to tell his other partner how to treat you,
I'm not though. I want very casual, distant relationships with my metamours. They don't get to "treat me" any way at all because we do/will have very little contact, if any. That's why someone would have to really go out of their way to impact on our relationship and if they did go that far out of their way, it would be my partner's job to nip it in the bud. If he didn't, I would be wanting words with him, not her. And that goes for everything: rules around our home, our kids, our relationship(s), family etc etc. It's his job to maintain those boundaries in his other relationships, not mine. An inability to do this spells trouble to me.

It's my job to tell people where my boundaries are and when they're being crossed
I agree that it's one's job to tell one's partner(s) where their boundaries lay and when they have been crossed. It's the idea that one should routinely expect to have to maintain those boundaries in other relationships that I wholly disagree with.
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