Honestly, no one can answer those questions except possibly him, and maybe not even that.
Is there some reason you don't accept his explanation that he's trying to "figure it out?" Presumably that means even he doesn't really know how he feels or how he wants to proceed. I would say his request to step back and just hang out is pretty clear. The problem seems to be that you want more than that. So you need to decide whether you actually can just hang out and accept what he's willing to offer right now. If not, then you could tell him that this arrangement isn't meeting your emotional/sexual needs, and ask if he's willing to step up the romance. If he's just not there right now, give him his space and maybe he'll look you up when he does figure it out.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."