Originally Posted by Glenn
I really feel my problem is poor self image about my physical appearance, like I know that I am fun and interesting, but I often don't think I am attractive to others, like my wife thinks I am attractive, and that's good, but I find it hard to fold it into the reality everywhere.
I was wondering if your anxiety was more about "getting it up", as many of the people replying seem to have though, or about your looks (your perception), or your skills in bed.
I sympathize with you. My looks is something that I worry about only slightly, but more often I feel pretty down about my skills in bed, or the ability to build up tension before getting in bed. Then, I feel anxiety about having sex.
I wish that I had more to say at the moment. I got counselling and took a self esteem class. It helped, but my partner (I'm a secondary) is in NRE with someone new, and my gains in confidence that I had made or loosing strength.
Again, I sure do sympathize with you. I just bought a book that focuses on giving pleasure without the use of the penis (though penetration is used). Maybe reading such a book would be helpful to you as well.