Yesterday was a good day except the youngest had a fever & the stomach flu. I hurt when my kids are sick. I can't take it away from them but can only be there to give love and nurture. This morning she's got her appetite back but still not the same.
Tonight PR is coming over after work. It's been two weeks since we played. DH & I are very excited for midnight to get here (PR works until 11 & then its a 30 minute drive). We actually last saw him 2 Mondays ago to meet his new girlfriend OM. He hasn't told her about us/me. When he met her she had said she was bi & PR had the idea in his head she could be into a 4-sum eventually. I don't think that is what she was looking for.
Some background on our relationship with PR. Our involvement with PR is what opened our eyes to polyamory (not the showtime show - never even heard of it until I came here). The story:
DH & I have been swingers and then evolved to having an open relationship with each other. DH had a fantasy of having a friend who'd hang out with us and then have sex with me. DH and I have friends, but none to even approach on this subject. To get this fantasy fulfilled, DH put up an ad on Craigslist. No pics were on it but the ad being about having sex with some guys wife brought a lot of responses. I weeded it down to three guys I found as my "type" then DH did all the emailing and planning.
One of the pics was PR. The back story: I had a desire for my neighbor (never acted upon it but had to get it out of my head) and put a MISSED CONNECTION on Craigslist. As usual, lots of responses and it's a missed connection not come have sex with me ad. One was PR. We corresponded a bit but never anything more than asking him for more pics, pics of his "tool". If I'm going to have fun, I don't want to be disappointed.
More backstory: DH & I had a prior ad up for another 3 sum and after much frustration and fakes, I made a VENT post about pics not being who they are, etc. Again PR replied but I didn't respond back.
Going back to DH's ad and the three guys. We finally got it down to 2 guys PR and "Slick". I said I just felt a draw to PR more than the other one. So it's the Sunday night, we're meeting this new guy on Monday. I look in my emails and PR had been emailing me since the day before. But he sent a new pic (the one he sent to DH) and I realized, ah, we've been emailing each other. I asked him if he was meeting a couple the next night and yes it was him.
That first time, that first night, there was a physical "love at first sight" between PR & I. DH the next day asked me if I was in love with PR. I laughed, cause that was impossible, I'd only had really good sex with him. The turn on was being watched by DH and having DH participate as well. By the second encounter, yeah, there was more than just sex between PR & I. I was still in denial but PR & I start chatting outside of DH's involvement. I asked if he (PR) felt something. He did, but we decided to leave it at the sex. He was in search for the "one
", the girl he'd marry as his second wife. And after 5 days of meeting he thought he had met her and wanted to be honest with me. That didn't work out.
Before my first time alone with PR, DH and I had been discussing my feelings (as noted above in post #2). DH that Thursday text'd PR that I was in love with him, DH was okay with it, realizing I, Ali, could be in love with more than two people at once. That was a lot for PR to take in. He knew I felt something but having DH try to be a matchmaker was a lot to absorb. That Saturday, this is in the second week of seeing each other with dh, I met him alone at his house. I was there for almost 5 hours but had to rush home before 5:15 am. DH had jealousy issues that night when I was on my way there. He wanted me to meet PR alone but he also felt very envious and jealous. This is before we had our intense discussions of polyamory, jealousy and envy insecurities. By the time I made it to PR's place, dh had calmed down. It was fun being alone with him. A great test to see if what I felt was just the three-sum thing or actually something more. It was more, but PR kept reiterating: "I'm a one woman kinda man and I want a one man woman". I responded with that I get it and until that day happens and as long as he still wants to see me/us, I'll be okay with it all. I won't let that emotion grow and in all honesty I haven't let it grow. I've packed it away in a tiny little box and put it on the shelf. But, dh is witness to this, that compartmentalized emotion, it is there when we get together. He feels it, PR shows it as well as I do.
And that last night we spent with PR, he had earlier in the day told me OM was getting serious (as I knew the day would come and a bit later than I thought) but he still wanted to see me, just on the "down-low". I also told him that DH & I have realized we're polyamorous, that I do have feelings but because he, PR, wasn't willing to explore them, I boxed them up and that I would be meeting someone later this month. Apparently PR was very bothered by the potential new suitor as it was the first thing he asked me about when we had a moment alone. Throughout that night he talked with me more than he ever had before as well as to DH about OM, us and me. It was his way of telling us, he's talking this journey with OM but he also wants to continue the journey with us. It was an awesome night, I can say that much.
Roll into the next day/night. We meet them out, played pool, chatted etc but OM had no clue because all my flirting was saved for DH. It was lots of fun to party, on a Monay night (DH's Saturday night). I still am not sure why he wanted OM to meet us. He had said the day before he didn't think she'd want to do something with anyone else besides him. I won't think too much about the way. If he was testing himself, he hasn't told us the answer. (I think he's realizing he can have feelings for more than one person but is stuck in the monogamous mind frame to impress family etc and in all honesty, that is his issue and his thing to figure out~~I'll just enjoy what we have while we have it).
Well I have some primping to do for tonight, some real work to work on and kids to love today. I'll get back to quirks soon. Hell, I have quirks but I have a lot of stuff inside my head so maybe my blog title won't always be about quirks but at least I'm getting it out there.