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Old 02-17-2010, 08:30 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
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There is evolutionary background to much of what we feel and talk about on this forum. It is argued that jealousy is a product of evolution that is spurred by procreation and an instinct to protect our genes. It is also argued that monogamy, or non-monogamy is genetically predisposed. (non-monogamy for the purpose of procreation, monogamy for the purpose of security)

The thing is, that we, as humans, have the ability to think beyond instinctual bindings. We can change behaviors from healthy to bad ones, and the other way around. We can give up our need for survival to protect people, and fight off jealousy when it is detrimental to what we want.

It makes sense that love can be seen as an evolved trait. It is probably best applied when considering family.

Now - the way I view love (as someone without children) is a series of active choices. I try as best I can to act lovingly and be aware of loving actions from those around me. Someone telling me they love me, and not acting like it does NOT fit my criteria. I love my friends, cat, family, bf, as best I can by trying to act lovingly towards them. Of course I have loving feelings in return: appreciation, compassion, etc. because of how they treat me. This is something I had to teach myself... I certainly wasn't born with this attitude.

Now if I had a child, it might be different. Instinct might play a large role here. Maybe those of you with children could let us know. Would you always love them, no matter what they did to you? This is certainly controversial, I realize. I have always wondered though.
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