Hello Vundabra - and thank you for sharing with us.
You certainly have a lot going on here at once ! I'm so sorry for the death of your friend.
I think first you have to slow down and choose small priorities. You are no doubt also in a grieving process and you need to complete that before anything. Our brains are only capable of dealing intelligently with a certain amount of stressful activity at one time. Too much and it all tends to run together and get jumbled.
Much could be said about various pieces of your relationship etc but I think that needs to come at a time you have recovered some and can focus properly on it.
For now I would just try to minimize any stressors in your life, allow yourself some time to heal and trust that any relationship issues will work out in time. People have said time heals all wounds (?).
Try to remove any relationship pressures from BOTH your lives. Let the dust settle for a while. If there is any real connection between you and your lover time will not harm that. Removing the pressure allows everyone the space necessary to think clearly.
Good luck and please keep us all posted.