Originally Posted by Flowerchild
They won't care about your sex lives, just understanding the role they'll play in their lives (well, maybe they will care about the sex part too, but in that case, well, no advice
Flowerchild I have to completely agree.
Our quad has spoken about this a lot lately.
For my wife and I, we mostly maintain a conservative family. Meaning any PDA is rather minor (kiss here, a hug there). My teenage son usually scoffs at the sight of it and looks away with "gross" comment or similar. :-) There are no PDA with our secondaries around our children. We successfully separate family time with adult time. And always family time comes first.
I think possibly the notion of coming out to children about a Poly life is almost an admission that a Poly lifestyle is something abnormal. My kid doesn't want to know about the details of our sexual relationships. I still don't want to know what my parents are up to either. So in our opinion, telling them gives the adults the licence to behave however they wish around the kids. We all deemed this would not be ok because it would be far too confusing.
What we have done is made it normal for primaries and secondaries to hang out together exclusively around the kids. For example my wife and her BF, going for a walk with the kids, or they may decided to watch a movie, whatever. It has worked wonders...
Now coming out to adults (ie. family and friends)... that a different story. We struggle with this tremendously. The potential damage to our relationships and careers are far too great to attempt this. It's truly sad, but we believe that society in general is simply not ready for it. Living a secret life that is so wonderful is very difficult at times.