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Old 02-17-2010, 07:01 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
Funny, I've generally found the opposite. I've often found the conversation go the opposite way. I've often heard people refer to casual sex as a "less evolved" form of sexual expression, or sometimes as a "step along the way to healthy 'real' sexual relationships". There is a lot of tacit judgement in such statements.
I agree there is some judgement in that, if they are really saying they think others are less evolved... I know I have seen casual sex as a stepping stone to more evolved sex,,, for me. Except when I forced myself to have casual sex, that was damaging myself.

I hope that when people hear me say how wonderful sex is for me now they can have appreciation for my journey. My journey, my experience and my joy within it. Not see it as my thinking I am better for it.

Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
I find people often use such things to try to put their relationships on a higher plane than those around them. I'm not saying that this is happening here, I'm just noticing that dynamic come up when I've had similar conversations with others. And it's a conversation that usually tells me that is not a person I'm probably going to connect with- not because of our differing views on sexuality, but because of the general way their views carry such tacit judgement to those around them.
I think perhaps people put themselves on a higher plane because it can be a spiritual experience. People get passionate about their experiences, that has brought them to another level... and want others to understand and be happy for them. They want to find like minds... of course some people are disrespectful that others might not feel like that, or understand that.

Similarly I have conversations with people who prefer casual sex that they see as more fun and and less binding,,, a good way to have good friendships... I totally get that, but that also can be judgemental.
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