Originally Posted by Inyourendo
What is a boy toy?
You've never heard the term? Generally, it's a man younger than a woman who she is in a relationship with... others look askance and assume she is just using him for sex. I think DaJaye here is using it in a derogatory fashion.
BTW, I do not think the wife is "shirking responsibility." Her going away to school was a mutually agreed upon decision. I am sure she had plenty of child care duties while DJ was deployed in the military. Now she has a responsibility to get an advanced degree. She's not just off lying on a beach somewhere. She is working hard.
She's got a bf who treats her well (at least so far). Must be a huge relief after years with an emotionally abusing husband who thinks he is "making" her happy. DJ is on board with her having this bf, she is not cheating. He even likes the guy!
DJ, I am glad you found a therapist you like and feel you are making progress. If you are lonely, get a sitter and go out... make a few friends at least! Join a hobby group. (Have you ever had a hobby?)
Even if you're in no emotional shape to find a female lover, or think it isn't practical now, a few platonic friends to hang out with would assuage your loneliness to a degree. Of course, there is the chance you are so unpleasant to be around, people aren't interested in being your friend... You've got your work cut out for you! I wish you well as you make your changes.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 38) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years