You sound like you are doing great and making good progress
Putting yourelf in your partner's shoes, looking at things from his perspective is
an excellent practise to keep up - Bravo
QUOTE:"The other thing that occurred to me recently was that one of the ideas that stays with me as I read this forum is a quote from the book Passionate Marriage, something like "Love is not saying to your partner, if you love me you'll live within my limitations." "
You are absolutely right. Love is more than that of course it is completely unselfish. Putting your partners needs, wants and feelings ahead of your own. Being willing to sacrafice for them and nor regret it or hesitate. This is part of how I define love but for this to work both persons have to be doing it the same for each other - then you know your needs will be met by your partner(s) just as theirs will be met by you. Giving it your all and having the faith in love that your lover will not let you fall. I don't know about anyone else but this is the way my heart works.
To address another quote : "Love means never having to say you'e sorry."
This quote ONLY applies if you've never done anything to apologise for.