Originally Posted by PolyPaganHer
Let me just say that I am honestly not trying to make him jump through hoops at this point its me becoming comfortable with what he has expressed. It has only been a weeks time since he said he has been thinking about dating. Its taking me a little time to adjust. Also this is the first time in 6 years of marriage that he has choosen to be honest with me. Which again is taking some time for me to get use too. I have told him that this is my issue and I need to work it out. There maybe a little part of me that is trying to control the situation but mainly to keep myself from being hurt by him again. This is something that I have to move past and work through. Which is what I am poundering now, how does one move past having their trust shattered repeatedly? Maybe I just need to suck it up, put my big girl panties on and move forward...
Perhaps hoop jumping was poor wording on my part. I guess what confuses me the most about it is that it looks like you are ready to begin dating. What are you adjusting to regarding his dating? Is it just because in the past he was not honest? Once you made the choice to stay together and commit to one another that should have been left in the past. You ask how you move on but you have already. Now you are looking to a future with this man and basing it on open and honest communication. I applaud you both for being able to talking through what will be best for the both of you.
Your full involvement in his pursuing others seems like a good start to putting your mind at ease. Why was this not enough?