Originally Posted by Marcus
Instead of having the image of your hard penis "making her happy" maybe try to focus on having a good time. Sometimes my dick is hard and sometimes it isn't, my goal is to not sweat it and to enjoy her body, she can enjoy mine, and I dish out orgasms like it's going out of style. Note: on giving her orgasms, I am doing it because it is fun and I like giving her pleasure - not because it's "the best I can do... sorry"
Yup. It happens and this is good
advice. I have had the same problem. It is tough to realize that it's all in your head (barring a real medical/pharmacological issue). Your brain is your real sex organ. Pharmacology (Viagra or Cialis) does not trump your brain.
Everyone's experience is different but once I got to the point of not caring if I had a hard on and focused on being in the moment and enjoying myself, I was much more likely to have a hard on. But, also, at that point, it really didn't matter.