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Old 08-23-2013, 08:57 PM
Nox Nox is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 251

Originally Posted by FranticRomantic View Post
So there's no inherent jealousy to be had for her physical relations with other men? Is that just how it always was for you, or was it learned?
There's never been inherent jealousy, but there has been insecurity on my part. I was constantly afraid she'd meet someone better than I was.

From reading here, you have to identify exactly what is upsetting you.

For example:
Are you possessive? Is it that you don't like her spending time with people other than you?
Are you insecure? Do you think she'll find someone better?
Are you needy? You want her attention so badly and she's giving it to someone else?

When I figured it was insecurity there were changes we made. She's done some things to help. I've understood she's keeping me in her life. It's also easier when the men don't change. When she adds one, then I have to start over, though it's not so bad any more. I do get "new guy" insecurity. But I can recognize it and get through. It's really not so bad any more. We've reached a level of intimacy that I can't help but know how important I am to her.

So, yes there was a learning curve, but no, I wasn't really predisposed to jealousy in the first place.
Me: 41 straight male in a V with
Wife: Kay - mono female - married 18 years
LDR ex? girlfriend: Susan - serial monogamist female - 4 year relationship ended? 9/29
Stakes - very intimate friend
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