I know that this gets discussed on here from time to time.
Recently JaneQ linked me to her post
where she shared how she and her partners worked through this question.
A while ago, when I was thinking of this topic, I remember Mya/rory mentioning how they decided to manage their blog sharing so that they could still write about the difficult stuff in their relationship without causing confusion/hurt to the other person who may be reading.
I like the idea of sharing my blog with my partners... well... at least some of them? Haha. That leads me to:
My concerns (and the flipside of these (etc (&c)))
- I use my blog sometimes to untangle my - often wild - emotions. The space to do this is very important to me. (On the other hand, it's often the writing itself, rather than the blogging per se, that helps. There are times when I write about relationship-triggered things, but do not post to this forum. If having a partner read my blog makes me censor some things, it's perhaps not so bad. (But, I don't want to change how I blog. (Maybe I can continue to blog as normal as long as any partners reading take what I write with the requisite Grain of Salt
- I'm not sure which partners I would be comfortable allowing to read my blog on here. At the very least, my two most long-term, serious partners who I've been with for 7+ and 4+ years. But I write about a bunch of other people too. What if they want to read? I'm not necessarily down for that. (It might be okay if I just share this with the people I feel comfortable with. This is not necessarily an issue that requires symmetry. (But. It feels lopsided. And in some ways an invasion of privacy too? Some partners get to read how I feel about other partners, but not vice versa. (Then again, when I share with people in person, in regular conversation, I do exactly this. I make a call, in each case, of what I feel comfortable sharing with that person.)))
- What about secrets? Sometimes I blog about the far interior of my relationships, and the challenges I have with a particular person, or possibly the challenges they are having with themselves. I have thus far been fairly free and easy about discussing other people's bizniz. If there are people that I know
reading my blog, I perhaps would need to be more conscious about this. (Really, it's probably a good thing that I stop doing this anyway. I have enough of my own story to tell. This is a public forum, and I should ideally only be revealing myself. (But, other people's stories are often intertwined with my own. I can try to stay focused on my own stuff, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do that. (I could possibly find ways of managing this. Telling people when not to read (not ideal)... hmm.)))
- What about breakups? If things get ugly? I don't want to have dramas following me here. (The people who I trust enough to read this, I trust enough to respect my space. Surely. (Still, I am nervous about opening this up. This is important to me as a safe space.
(Vulnerability, with the right people, is often worth it.))))
- I am shy! (Get over it, duckie.)
Those are the main points.
Both my longer-term partners (mentioned above) have said that they would like to read my blog, should I be okay with this.
They 100% respect this as my space, and wouldn't want me to have to change the way I write, or change the way I use this forum, simply so they can get to read my journal.
I don't feel any pressure. But I think I would like to
share with them if I can! I'd like to hear their thoughts. I'd be interested to read their posts, if they would join here too.
In the past, I'd floated the idea to them about possibly blogging together on here. Not sure how feasible that is really; it seemed like a good idea once, but I think we wouldn't have the time to do this now.
Anyway, I wanted to post this as a discussion thread - and not on my blog - (a) to hear other people's experiences/perspectives on this, and (b) to potentially share this link with my partners who wish to read my blog, for their input!
Thanks for reading. I appreciate any comments.