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Old 08-22-2013, 08:28 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 431
Default It's a matter of respect

Respecting others autonomy to live according to any dynamic that they choose to be right for them, even if it appears wrong to you. One can easily speak of any dynamic in completely unflattering terms, and when somebody chooses to do that, why?

Is it out of concern to make sure that people are educated about the many flavors of non-monogamy or especially polyamory and you genuinely desire for them to have the necessary "tools" in their arsenal so that they can discern what will be necessary in their lives so that they feel content?

In other words, do you want to help others and not hinder?

If that is anywhere near your goal, and you regularly take time to reflect on your behavior to ensure that's what you are doing, and you are honest with yourself then it will not be likely that your words will cause harm.

It is important to keep in mind that the specific details will vary from one person to the next. That for many those details will be polar opposites

The "coexist" philosophy is about respecting others autonomy to decide for themselves exact what those details are and what they mean. Coexisting does NOT mean that every ideology must be given equal weight in a person's life. The philosophy is about ensuring that YOU have the right to have the dynamic of your relationships to mean everything and another to be meaningless in your life.

Labels must be given so that people can communicate in ways that are coherent and understandable to people not familiar with the experience. Each label comes with "assumptions" as that is in essence the very meaning/definition of words. Words need to have definitions as that is what gives them the power to communicate

and this is exactly why attempts to marginalize or debunk any labels that are assigned to polyships, must be based in truth, and the furthest away from biased opinion the better, lest these debates inadvertently do "poly" a great disservice because the focus was on making sure you appeared "right" in relation to another person's opinion.

People have felt the need to hide who they are for far too long, poly has already been marginalized too much. There is nothing wrong with desiring to keep your private life hidden, but it is a problem when people don't get a choice, which is why some of these "debates" are deleterious to everyones' freedom to be who they are, unless we are mindful to be consciously speaking the Truth

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 08-22-2013 at 08:35 PM. Reason: typos
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