Originally Posted by Marcus
I don't agree with the modern aversion to the idea of judgment. I don't know when it turned into something bad, but I missed that meeting. We interpret our environment, weigh the details we have access to, and make assessments. We judge whether something is "good or bad" or "indulge or avoid" or whatever. We make judgment calls... I don't see how that has become synonymous with intolerance or oppression.
I also don't agree with the "coexist" assertion that all ideas are equal and that they should all be treated with dignity. I couldn't disagree with this more. When I see what appears to be bunk ideology I judge it accordingly. If someone can explain their support of the bunk ideology then maybe at some point I will change my stance and stop calling it bunk... I will have made a new judgment call. However, my recognizing that hierarchical terms are indeed a ranking system and that ranking our loved ones is both unnecessary and restrictive is perfectly reasonable. Now that doesn't mean that *you* can't or shouldn't use hierarchical terms for your loved ones but *I* reserve the right to call them like I see them.
You can call that projection if it makes you feel better. You can judge me in that fashion.
Perhaps at one point "judgement" and "assessment" meant the same thing, but currently "judgement" is the more more emotionally charged of the two and carries the implication that someone is putting forth an opinion that has little basis in fact. For example the religious person who tells the atheist that s/he is immoral because of the lack of belief in a god - as if actual behavior was irrelevant.
Judgement also seems to emotionally carry the implication that the judger actually has the right to make judgements about others. I personally, try to make the least amount of judgements possible. I often do assess and analyze for cause and effect, and often note that people embrace behavior that leads to outcomes that are bad for them. The only time I make a judgement, however, is when someone or something affects me personally or goes against societal tenets like killing, assault, etc.
Like you I would not use a hierarchical system for defining relationships, because by *my* definition, it would indicate importance of said relationship. However, by idealist's definition, it seems to denote the degree of entanglement. The definition is different. Realizing this, while I still would not use hierarchy because of the emotional response it engenders in me, I logically understand that her definition is different, so I do not judge the rightness or wrongness of the system in her life.