Originally Posted by Dagferi
How long have you and R been together?
We have only been poly dating (we dated last year, which was a disaster, because I didn't know about A, so I was a mistress... this is our 'second chance' round) for about 4 months.. which is a short time, also why I'm not stressing TOO much.
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
FYI-I totally get you on the pda thing. One thing to keep in mind-I used that example in terms of my kids. But-does this guy actually have friends he goes out and does stuff like that with? Because if not-it would be a mind-altering scenario for the kid.
For us-our kids are very socialized with a large group of close friends who are all "adopted" aunts and uncles to them.
Of course the other thing is-it may just not be that big of a deal. Wife may come back with saying it's no problem. It could be simply that he's being overly cautious to ensure that SHE knows he's not going to "oops" in terms of "their" common responsibility and rights with the child. Especially since you say he's usually stay at home dad AND she's having some emotional issues with the poly situation.
So maybe he's just being extra cautious.
Their son has definitely been socialized to other people and friends, and they have actually been pretty open with him (to an extent.. he is 8 after all) about times in the past when they shared playmates.. i.e. he has known that mom and dad have had friends stay the night and they all slept in the same bed before.
However, I don't know the extent to how *I* have been explained to him, and being an actual girlfriend, I would understand the reasons R may have for not introducing me as anything other than a friend. even I get that explaining that 'this is dad's girlfriend' opens up a whole world of explanations, and that's a big responsibility to hold on someone that hasn't been around too long.
I get it being out of respect for her too, I probably understand that more than the parent aspect. One time I asked about doing something like that and what she may think, he responded "she would just have to deal with it", TOTALLY joking, but I wouldn't have been ok with him not running it by her approval anyway.