Originally Posted by Marcus
I personally *do* find hierarchical terms for loved ones to be offensive. It doesn't necessarily offend me that other people use them for their loved ones, but I still make a general judgment call on the use. Just because an act isn't perpetrated upon me personally doesn't mean that I am not entitled to make a judgment call on that act being perpetrated on other people - right?
Okay- I guess I would agree. It is certainly your right to make a judgement call if that is what you feel like you need to do.
i'm trying to think of something that offends me in terms of something that someone else is choosing to do and I can't really think of anything. Maybe it's my age. Or- my therapist finally got through to me. She told me "live and let live". Also- I am a trained Life Coach. It was an 18 month training. As a life coach it is not my job to judge others. I can help them decide if they are "using terms that really work for them" or if they are just basically making decisions that are in line with what they are trying to create in their life.
One of the most powerful questions I can ask someone- after they have shared where they are and what they have created is "so how is that working out for you?"
If it is working for them- then I will support that.
In the 80's I was an outspoken feminist. I saw so many things that offended me because I saw a lot of things (including the bible) as an attempt to oppress women.
When I got sober and drug free, I was offended by people who pursued anything that created a mood change.
When I got into an intense spiritual practice, I was offended by anything that I didn't consider to be spiritual.
When I started my own business, I was offended by any client who asked for a discount.
I guess I can honestly say that today, I am not easily offended by anything that someone else is choosing to do in their life.
And- in my opinion- when person A is offended by something person B and C are doing within their own relationship- it means that person A is projecting their own unresolved issues onto the couple......but that's just psyche 101.