I am in a V with R as the hinge, and A as my metamour. R & A have an 8 year old son that I have met a couple times (i.e, was with R when dropping something off to me, went to lunch with R & I once). He obviously does not know I'm "dad's girlfriend", just "dad's friend".
R does the stay-at-home dad thing for the most part, so when something comes up at A's job, he is the default sitter. We have plans for an overnight this Saturday, but there is a chance it may not happen, due to staff changes at A's work, and her possibly having to cover shifts, which would mean he would have to stay home with the kid.
I mentioned today that if we have to cancel Saturday night, that perhaps we (me, him, and the son) could do something during the day together, like the zoo or aquarium. He loved the idea, but said he would have to check with A to make sure it's ok.
I have mentioned the idea of the 3 of us doing activities like this before, and R told me that he would want to clear it with A if it involved his son; he said that she was ok with the 3 of us having lunch together, but he wasn't sure how she would feel about a 'family-oriented' type activity.
This kind of took me by surprise. I honestly didn't see it as a "family-oriented" type outing. PDA with R when his son being there to me would be out of the question, nor would I consider it; he would see it as nothing more than going somewhere with his dad, and dad's friend. A has been ok with the fact that R has brought him around me, and was also ok with him receiving a tablet from me as a gift (I work in telecommunications, so I often have extra products laying around doing nothing that we receive from manufacturers, so I wasn't going out of my way.. more like, here, I have this extra tablet that im not using, give it to your son so he can play games on it), so I figured it wasn't a huge thing to ask about an outing.
A and I have not met yet, as she is working through her personal emotional issues, and I am respecting that right now.
Has anyone ever experienced these kind of boundaries, or have them themselves? I do not have any children of my own, so I don't know if this is something I would understand better if I were a parent, nor have I really ever dated anyone that already had children either.