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Old 08-21-2013, 03:21 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,580

Originally Posted by idealist View Post
I use the labels of secondary and primary simply because I chose to use these labels. I like the labels. They work for me.
I'm glad you have found something that works for you; I expect that is what all of us are looking for to some degree or another. However, within the context of a discussion forum I fully understand that whatever personal information I provide or ideals (which someone else has provided) that I choose to endorse are fair game for discussion.

Originally Posted by idealist View Post
To me- calling it bullshit was judgmental and offensive.
I can objectively state that calling hierarchical labels "bullshit" is a judgment. It is a value judgment based on a personal assessment of the details available to the person stating it.

Is calling an idea "bullshit" offensive? That's a purely subjective decision. I guess it would irritate me for someone to tell me that independence is "bullshit", though they would quickly get the business end of my "Really? Please, do explain in detail exactly why you make this rather interesting assertion" blaster!!

Originally Posted by idealist View Post
Marcus- you know I love reading your posts and I respect your opinion. However I hold the position that if me and my partners choose to classify and label ourselves as primary and secondary then that is perfectly okay and there is no need for anyone to find that offensive. I'm not labeling any of you. This is between me and my partners and it works for us.
Labels have a different 'volume level' for some people than others. I see folks using labels simply because that's the first one that they heard and they are sticking with it... just because. Others find the concise use of labels to be important because accidentally attributing assumptions to their lives is something important to avoid.

I personally *do* find hierarchical terms for loved ones to be offensive. It doesn't necessarily offend me that other people use them for their loved ones, but I still make a general judgment call on the use. Just because an act isn't perpetrated upon me personally doesn't mean that I am not entitled to make a judgment call on that act being perpetrated on other people - right?
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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