Thread: our poly life
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Old 08-21-2013, 02:09 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,132
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Thanks for the update!

It's good to read about another successful MFM Vee. I remember being on tenterhooks for the first 6 months or so (I am the hinge) - and wondering if I was doing "okay" meeting everyone else's needs. It was a bit nerve-wracking - but the boys were so good about talking things out that I was able to calm down and really appreciate the "new normal." An important step for me was really internalizing "fair" =/= "equal" - that it is important for each individual to get what they need and that is not necessarily the same for each person. (Dude needs more cuddles and physical affection, MrS needs more quality conversations and non-physical intimacy.)

We all live together full-time - and have since the inception of our Vee (which is often frowned upon here - but worked for us). Actually, since I am the only one who works outside the house, the boys see more of each other than I do of either of them. So, I think our situation is working so well because they where already best friends before the Vee coalesced. They really care about each other (in a platonic way) and want each member of the Vee to be happy and fulfilled.

I have yet to have a weekend "away" with Dude - this is mainly because I am such a "home-body". Although we have had some days/weekends/longer "home" alone together, and have had vacations "away" with all three of us. (And ... I am planning on taking him away for a surprise weekend as a present when he finishes a long-term project he has been working on for me - MrS is fully supportive of this ...Shhhh - don't tell)

Oh - I didn't mean for this to turn out so long. Just wanted to say thanks for the update and that I am so excited for all of you - sounds like you are doing just fine!

JaneQ

PS. If I recall correctly, your wife doesn't post here? If she ever wants another "hinge" to talk to - feel free to PM me and I can share an email address.
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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