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Old 08-20-2013, 02:04 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
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Originally Posted by northhome View Post
As I come from a collegiate, rather than adversarial tradition, I often miss the fact that people can ascribe motives incorrectly. Personally I am very interested in knowing where information comes from, and I sometimes mistakenly assume others have the same curiosity. Although opinions can be interesting, I often discount them until I know the person's background.
This is a discussion forum on the world wide webernets. That being the case, someone telling me they are an expert for some reason or another is what I generally discount. For me, it's when a person makes sound assertions with clear and reasonable rationalizations to support them that I actually give their opinions weight.

Originally Posted by northhome View Post
I agree with you completely. The topic however was about relationship breakdowns and what causes them, and poor communication is a primary culprit in many of them. The reasons for the poor communication are of course myriad, and most of them are not rational.
I don't see how you agree with me completely if you think what I said was not related to the topic. It actually suggests that you and I are not connecting on this discussion at all... a communication breakdown.

Dag made a point that the "one penis policy" and other controlling rules are the cause of most of these breakdowns.

You disagreed and said that poor communication was the cause of relationship breakdowns.

While I don't disagree that communication styles will certainly have an impact on a relationship - if the relationship is founded on broken assumptions that communication merely decides the *when*, not the *if*. I maintain that it is a broken sense of how people should relate to each other on a fundamental level which is the problem, not how well they articulate how the other person should behave. The instinct for many seems to be regulation, control, supervision, restriction, instead of independence, courtesy, and personal accountability. That if people would concern themselves with their own happiness and not with how to control their fellows that they might actually be happier.

Communicate all you want, but if the point of this communication isn't to cast off these managerial ideals of relationships - most of the time I think it's better to just to save your breath
Me: male, 40, straight, single
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