In the specific -- Is that one lady acting out again and complaining at you that Maca did not make her aware of his other agreements and obligations? Or giving you beef about speaking up about the things that concern you when they leak over on to you and affect you?
No. It was reading posts on here where people were telling other posters that they don't have the right to speak up about how a metamour is treating or mistreating THEM.
GG and I got to talking about it. Then it came up in another group I'm in and I came back here and there it was again. VENT. :P
Actually-in our "real life" world. Things have been calm. The biggest emotional doozy this week-was that a plant which belonged to E, flowered these GORGEOUS blooms (I didn't know it HAD flowers). I was so touched-which sounds silly-it's a plant. But it was one she left behind when she moved out of state and I saved and brought home. It really made my day when I came home from a 2 week trip and saw it bloomed. It really brought up for me how much I miss her. She was just a FREAKING AWESOME metamour!
Originally Posted by GalaGirl
You seem like someone's behavior pushed your buttons and you are super frustrated.
In general -- Do I get what you are talking about? Sure. It's the polymath/familymath
thing. What happens in one tier of relationship could affect me another. And if someone's behavior is making itself felt in one of my tiers -- I can speak up and go "Hey! That behavior over there is leaking on to me over here! Could you be willing to stop doing that?" and if they don't, I can remove myself from the line of fire so I don't get new dings from them.
As to your vent? I agree. You don't have to love everyone Maca dates. But just because they date them and he chooses to give them access to Maca?
That doesn't mean they automatically get access to everyone in his life.
That doesn't mean YOU have to play with them automatically. You have your own willingness. Maybe you don't want more than "polite meta" with them.
That doesn't mean you and Maca's kids have to play with them automatically or the automatically get invited to family shindigs. The parents get to choose who the children are exposed to. The hosts invite who gets to come to family shindigs. It's not open invite. *shrug*
It's not that hard to get -- dating a married with kids person like Maca comes with limits. Don't like the limits? Don't date the dude.
All of that.
But you said it much more coherently than I did in my rant.