Originally Posted by MeeraReed
Are you horrified if ANY mother wants to arrange a playdate with your kid, or only if they are also interested in Maca?
I am not horrified by anyone arranging playdates with the kids. I am horrified by ANYONE thinking that once we have said something isn't appropriate-that they can manipulate ONE of us into forcing the others to comply.
In the case of the particular person who did that-she didn't arrange a playdate. She wanted Maca to bring our 5 year old, to entertain hers so they could make out. He wasn't comfortable with that and nor were we.
BUT that was simple enough for him to say "no". Even though it ticked her off.
However-when she started talking shit about GG and I, and flat refused to meet GG at all AND insisting that it "wasn't fair" that our daughter couldn't come hang out with them: Maca let her know that she wasn't going to subject our daughter to that sort of talk about her OTHER TWO PARENTS.
He chose to tell her that the three of us felt it wasn't a good environment for our daughter. SHE chose to tell the world that I refused to allow her to have a relationship with Maca because I didn't want her around my daughter.
Ironically-I wasn't the one who had an issue with our daughter going over there. It was Maca and GG who did. I simply backed them up.
BUT-that is a great example of how leaving communication to ONE person to speak for 3 is asinine.
At any rate-to your question-no, my expectations for metamours isn't different from my expectations for anyone who enters my life, my home, my circle of friends etc.
THAT is precisely my point. It's not different. The fact that SOMEONE is having sex with someone else doesn't in any way change the way I treat them or what I expect of them. I find it annoying and offensive when people think that as a metamour I should stand back and keep my mouth shut about something that directly involves ME, my personal space or my responsibilities (not the mutual lover-that isn't MINE) just because the person who is affecting me shares a lover with me.
WHO CARES if we share a lover or not?
We are both people, individuals capable of speaking for ourselves. We don't need our mutual lover to be an intermediary.